


Pray For Me

by kb928



Series: Apoptosis [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, But also Good Theo, Character Study, Dark Theo, Happy Ending, M/M, Possessive Theo Raeken, Redemption, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 06:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13805019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kb928/pseuds/kb928
Summary: Theo will do anything to protect the boy who rescued him from Hell.





	Pray For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece to "I Am Machine" but can be read alone.
> 
> Inspired by "Pray For Me" by Kendrick Lamar and The Weekend
> 
> Set during Season 6 and a bit AU at the end/after 6B

_I'm always ready for a war again_   
_Go down that road again_   
_It's all the same_

  
When the ground opens above him, Theo thinks it’s a trap; another manifestation of his tortured mind creating a new traumatic experience for him. But he climbs up anyways, giving in to the mirage, always willing to try _anything_ to escape, no matter how unsuccessful he’s been so far.

 

Claws and fangs out, but eyes closed, he inhales a long, deep breath of fresh air, dirt spilling down the jacket covering his malnourished body. His own hell never smells like this, but he’s willing to accept the unexpected change of pace from having his heart ripped out over and over and over again in the hospital by the sister he shamelessly watched die countless years ago.  

 

Theo inhales the familiar scent of Liam and Hayden, anger and distrust radiating from the former chimera he once resurrected. But apparently Scott decided to save her too, because the slight change in her scent allows him to recognize her as a true beta werewolf. He hates himself even more for the jealousy he feels, because she got two of the few things he’s ever wanted; becoming a true werewolf, and a place in the pack.

 

Liam, though, is a different story. Theo knows the beta is physically tougher than he looks, but he’s also tougher to figure out emotionally. Theo smells the slight anxiety radiating from the other boy as well, but it’s less intense than that of his girlfriend. He also faintly detects Liam’s arousal, and Theo’s not sure what’s causing that.

 

But then Theo opens his eyes, still wary of his mind playing tricks on him, and he finally looks into the eyes of the boy who “rescued” him. He knows when Liam’s arousal increases as they make eye contact that this isn’t real. Because why would Scott McCall’s precious first beta release him from his prison that his very pack placed him in? And why would he be aroused by looking at Theo, especially when his girlfriend is nearby?

 

So he does what he always does to survive; attacks first.

 

He has Liam pinned to the jagged stone wall, and the beta doesn’t fight back. Hayden is screaming that they’re not trying to hurt him, that they were the ones that brought him back. But he doesn’t believe her. She’s betrayed him before, so even if this isn’t a trick by Tara or by his own mind, he doesn’t trust her.

 

But, Liam. Liam has always been different. He tells him that his sister is dead, and Theo’s skeptical, but more inclined to believe the boy. Hayden, the stupid bitch, is there reminding him that he killed his sister. She’s there reminding him that he betrayed the only person in this world who loved him. To make him remember the guilt and shame he’s come to feel over the past how ever many months he’s been trapped in the ground, broken and alone, terrified every second of every minute of every goddamn day..

 

Theo tells the other boy that he’ll kill him, that he’ll kill them all. He knows his heart doesn’t skip a beat either. Then Hayden’s begging the beta to send him back, back into the ground where day after day he was forced to relive every sin he’s ever committed. Where the sins he has done to others have been done to him, Tara constantly at his side to remind him how much death and destruction he’s left in his wake. How his only purpose in life is to bring harm to others. How no one loves him. How no one cares for him. How he’s alone, alone because he chose power over family, chose power over a pack.

 

How he chose himself over her.

 

She rips his heart out; Josh kills him; Tracy kisses him and then shoves her claws into his abdomen; Scott kills him; Liam manipulates him into killing his ‘Alpha’; Lydia paralyzes him and watches as he has holes drilled into his head in Eichen House. And it happens again and again, a never ending cycle of reminders that he is a _failure_ in every sense of the word.

 

_I'm always ready to take a life again_   
_You know I'll ride again_   
_It's all the same_

 

But then Liam is showing him the sword that doomed him to Hell, and Theo wonders if _maybe_ they’re telling the truth. Because Hell never smelled like anything other than death. The monsters in his head never had heartbeats he could hear. They never breathed. They were all dead, because he killed them, either physically or emotionally.

 

He half listens as Liam describes why they rescued him, promising that if he helps them, then he can kill whoever he wants. And if he does kill them, it won’t matter, because what Theo will face alone will be worse.

 

And Theo’s fucking _done_ facing monsters alone.   

 

_Tell me who's gon' save me from myself_   
_When this life is all I know_   
_Tell me who's gon' save me from this hell_   
_Without you, I'm all alone_

 

He doesn’t even care that Liam saves him only because he needs him to help fight the Ghost Riders. He doesn’t care that Hayden doesn’t trust him, wishes Liam would send him back. He doesn’t care about any of it, because once again, he’s survived, rising up from his own personal hell, even after he thought all hope was lost.

 

Theo still considers himself an atheist despite his time in Hell. But Liam makes him wonder if maybe a higher deity did exist. Because if Theo was a demon, than Liam was an angel. _His_ Angel. He was _his_ savior, _his_ knight in shining armor, the bringer of salvation. And Theo will do _anything_ in his fucking power to protect what is his.  

 

Because without Liam, he is all alone.

 

_If I'm gon' die for you_   
_If I'm gon' kill for you_   
_Then I'll spill this blood for you_

 

Theo was made for war. Liam wasn’t. Theo lived and breathed for destruction, for chaos. For power. He was a fighter, and he’d do anything to take down an enemy. He enjoys the feeling of his claws piercing their flesh, the sheer terror in their eyes as they realize they’re about to die.

 

When Liam breaks the sword that can send him back into the ground, his resolve his solidified. Before Hell, Theo never imagined he’d put someone else’s life before his own, but the young beta changed that. Theo would die if it meant saving Liam.

 

And he will kill _anyone_ and _anything_ to protect him.   


_Who need a hero? (hero)_   
_You need a hero, look in the mirror, there go your hero_   
_Who on the front lines at Ground Zero?_

 

He should have known he’d never be the hero.

 

After the battle with the Ghost Riders, Theo was once again abandoned. He wrongfully assumed that after helping the pack, helping save Liam countless times, that the pack would at least _somewhat_ accept him. But, no, they shunned him. Told him straight to his face after he saved their precious beta that he wasn’t a part of the pack. Which, fair enough, he did murder their Alpha a few months ago, but he saved Liam like, what, three times? Gave them useful information so they _all_ could live. And what thanks does he get?

 

None.   


_Who gon' pray for me?_   
_Take my pain for me?_   
_Save my soul for me?  
Cause I'm alone, you see_

He was left once again to fend for himself. His nightmares consumed him every night, Tara ripping her heart out from his chest, night after night. The days blended into the nights. Theo slept so fitfully that he wasn’t truly ever sure what day it was. The cops in the city seemed to exist to make his life even more hellish than he thought possible, banging on his window in the early hours of the morning to move his truck out of its parked location.

 

Theo thought about leaving Beacon Hills, thought about it every damn day, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Liam. Even if Liam didn’t give a fuck about him. So he stayed, and he suffered, for a boy who doesn’t think twice about him.

 

Because Liam still saved Theo.

 

And this would be his penance.  

 

_If I'm gon' die for you_   
_If I'm gon' kill for you_   
_Then I'll spill this blood for you_

 

As the summer closes, Theo finds himself reunited with Liam and the pack as any army of hunters descends on the town, spurred on by a creature that amplifies discord and hate.

 

The problem with working alongside Scott McCall, though, is that he doesn’t support murdering “innocents”. But Theo, Theo is _designed_ to kill. Sure, he may not kill just anyone these days, but he has no qualms about taking the life of someone in battle, taking the life of someone who hurts Liam.

 

Every drop of blood he would spill, every throat he would slash, every neck he would snap would be for Liam. Every death by his hand would be his sacrifice to the boy who saved him.

 

He stops Liam from killing Gabe and Nolan knowing the boy will feel guilty for taking a human’s life, no matter how much they deserve it.

 

But Theo will kill so Liam doesn’t have to, so the strong, proud beta can remain as innocent and pure as he was the day Theo first met him. The moment Liam gives him the go ahead, Theo will rip them limb from limb, strike his claws through there flesh as they beg for mercy, spilling their blood in the name of his Angel.

 

_It's all prophecy and if I gotta be sacrificed for the greater good_   
_Then that's what it gotta be_

Scott calls him, tells him that Liam is trapped in the hospital amongst a large body of hunters with no hope of escape on his own. Liam _needs_ Theo.

 

He finds the boy on one of the higher floors amidst a barrage of bullets, three hunters firing at the beta without mercy. Theo drags him into the elevator, using his own body to shield Liam’s from any stray bullets.

 

Theo tells the boy he’s not going to die for him.

 

Liam doesn’t call him on his bullshit, perhaps the noise of the gunfire outside of the closed doors being too loud for the beta to hear the skip in his heart beat.

 

Theo steps closer to the boy, knowing this may be their last moment together.

 

The beta agrees to fight with him, and Theo leans down, lightly brushing his lips against the beta’s.

 

_My heart don't skip a beat, even when hard times bumps the needle_   
_Mass destruction and mass corruption_   
_The souls of sufferin' men_   
_Clutchin' on deaf ears again, rapture is comin'_

 

They win the “war” but Theo knows it isn’t over.

 

Peace wasn’t something Theo was used to. He hated it.

 

Peace was fragile, like a crack in the glass of a windshield. For now, everything was okay. You drove to work each morning, always aware that the perfect sphere within your vehicle was flawed. Imperfect.

 

But you don’t fix it, and you drive for weeks, maybe months, and nothing happens. You find yourself with a false sense of security, forgetting that the crack is even there.

 

And suddenly one day, without warning, that crack spreads, and the entire windshield blows out, glass shards raining down on your face. The calm is shattered, and before you know it, everything is changed around you.

 

Everything in Beacon Hills was “peaceful,” but Theo saw the crack that the others weren't’ aware of. There was a delicate truce between the hunters, the townspeople momentarily recruited as hunters, and the supernaturals of Beacon Hills. There were no discussions afterwards, no talks of how to live peacefully amongst one another. They just went about their business like nothing happened.

 

The battle was over, but the war was ongoing.

 

Everywhere he went, Theo smelled their fear, their distrust, their anxiety, the animosity hidden in the depth of their souls. Because the supernaturals and the chimeras had powers the humans didn’t understand. He smelled their jealousy, their shame. Because they were inferior, and they knew it.

 

He would play the good citizen for now. He went back to school, joined the lacrosse team, participated in charity fundraisers, Liam always by his side. He would play his role, and he would play it well. But underneath the calm exterior in their town, he knew war would come again. And Theo was ready for another one, whether it be with humans or a supernatural force. It was all the same to him.

 

_Just in case my faith go, I live by my own law_   
_I live by my own law, I live by my own_


End file.
